About Meghana RaoRane
I care a lot about being happy. I also love to dance. For me, being happy is like dancing with a partner. At times its easy, and everything just flows. Other times, I fumble and I have to make an effort to find my rhythm again. And sometimes, nothing works at all and I accept where I am until I can move on. I have found that practice makes it easier, and I even start to feel like I don’t have to work at it any more. Until I trip up, and I do. Thus, my dance with happiness.
My most significant goal is to be happy every moment I can be. I spent many years pursuing a good education, a good job, a fulfilling marriage, thinner thighs, and less unruly hair. I thought I needed those types of things to be happy. So, I went to law school and worked hard, tried to be the best wife I knew how to be, took care of my unruly hair by chopping most it off, and although my thighs weren’t as thin as I would have liked them to be, I peddled hard on my stationary bike while simultaneously reading for class.1 I was on my way!
Yet, I felt like a mess. I was struggling. I struggled with my marriage, with feeling comfortable in my skin, with my expectations of myself, with my expectations of others and their expectations of me, with feeling torn between people I cared about, and with trying to express my love for others while never knowing how to love myself. Eventually, I hit rock bottom, and there was no where else to go.
I began searching for answers to how I could be truly happy. I wanted deep lasting happiness and peace. I already knew in my bones how rock bottom, my only other choice, felt. Dreadful. So I went to therapy, meditated, read, and practiced what I had learned. I turned my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings inside out and upside down, examined them closely, and challenged them. It was hard and it took time, but I started to find myself. And I grew. I grew more peaceful, more loving, and slowly, but surely, happier. And for that, I am deeply grateful.
I still struggle. But I find that I am happy significantly more often than I am not, and more often than I used to be. Circumstances don’t affect my mood as quickly as they used to. I bounce back from set-backs more easily. Wonderful people come into my life, and my relationships are more authentic. Everything in my life feels real. And I finally feel like I am living the life I was meant to live.
So, I want to share this “dance” with you. Perhaps something I say will resonate with you. It may even brighten a moment in your life. And what a beautiful thing that would be!
1 It is possible to read while peddling on a stationary bike. If the tension is high enough, you can go slow enough to read. These days, I just run to music that makes me happy.
2 Pronounced, May-gh-na Ra-o-Ra-ney